Friday, 1 April 2016


I don't know why my family hates me so much. I am 37 years old and am still single. I am the 4th born in my family of 6 children. I was not able to do much educationally because I am not very good academically. To top it up I have a disorder, though not physical, but my family seems to think it is my fault. Or should I say my family blames me for something I have no control over.
Even though I have tried not to give up on myself. They don't feed me even though I live at home I have to provide for myself, even the water I drink. I am not even allowed to use the stove. But I cook and clean for all of them. The only one that shows me sympathy is our Father. When there are celebrations in the family, they neglect me, and treat me as if I don't exist. In spite of all these ill treatment from them I try my best to show them love, but all they do is ignore me or at best make fun of me even when they are with friends. We usually contribute to pay the rent for our parents house, the last payment expired and nobody was able to pay. Faced with imminent quit notice, I had to take the money for the rent from my little savings, over 200k, though they promised to pay back a year has gone by and no one is saying anything. I had to again pay a hefty part of this year's rent also. Still my mother and siblings still consider me useless. When I am in a crisis no one, with the exception of our Father and neighbours, cares. But I run around for ALL of them, they forget that I was not always like this. I get so depressed I just want to end it all. God why? What did I do to deserve this? Sometimes I wish it was a terminal disease so I can just die and they can live happily ever after.

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